Hullo! I'm the Tantalum Worm! I'm the familiar (sort of like a pet) to the Tungsten Wizard who runs the website.

The site has been a tad slow to update lately, so the ol' wizard has finally relented and graned me my own slice of the web to write my thoughts. And, yeah, this will mostly just be my thoughts. I know that T. Wizard conjures creative works from nothingness through the sheer power of will and artistic energy, but I find that all too intimidating and tiring. Nah, I'm more interested in talking about games I've been playing and other stuff I've been up to.

So what have I been up to? Uh, well. Let's see. I finally got my hands on this blog, don't want to let the people down... I've been mostly ^{looking at my phone aimlessly?}

Okay, okay! So I'm not the most interesting worm to follow, but that's part of the reason that I wanted the blog in the first place, alright? You see, I'm slithering my way back into the practice of mindfulness. I feel like I've been just kind of bouncing around from thing to thing lately, without much passion or purpose. Just working, worrying, and sleeping largely. And then I worry about that cycle and things get even worse. Instead, I would like to focus more on what's in front of me and rediscovering things that I genuinely enjoy doing. Even if you're not quite a distressed metallic worm, maybe you can relate a little? It feels so hard not to slip into staring at the tempting pocket rectangle.

With that understood, what have I been up to? I've been watching a lot of Olympic events lately, and that's been refreshing. I've mostly been taking in individual sports, like skateboarding and sport climbing. It's amazing to see these people who are truly the best in the world at what they do. The women's combined sport climbing category was really exciting. It was so cool to see them figure out how to navigate the boulders like a combination of puzzle-solving and physical endurance. And then the distance climbing (called "lead"?) almost has you holding your breath waiting to see if they can reach each rock.

So many of the athletes seem good-spirited too. They're friendly with one another and talk a lot. The women seem to do this more than the men, for sure, but it seems like there's camraderie all around. It really makes you wonder what all goes through their heads. What's it like to be so focused and determined? What's it like to deal with all those overwhelming emotions and expectations? What's it like to approach something you've been practicing non-stop on the greatest competitive stage of all? Just fascinating stuff.

Other than that, I started playing Cities Skylines a little over the weekend. It's neat, but I worry I'm already getting sick of it. Feels a little too addictive already, and watching my fake city grow makes me feel a little guilty for some reason. I'm kind of longing for a nice handheld gameplay experience again. I should probably break out my PS Vita and emulate some good old games. If I wasn't so concerned about money on my meager worm budget, I'd drop $100 on an Evercade handheld and some cartridges for fun. But I just have trouble justifying it when I know I can emulate.

A little while ago, I started Mega Man X2 and got pretty far in it but have not finished it. I really should, it's some of the most fun that I've had playing a game in a while. I want to get back into more classics in general, I've fallen out of retro gaming a bit and it used to be my main focus. I've been trying to get into experiences on my PS5, but ah, there's just a force that pushes me away from a lot of modern games. I don't know how to explain it. They full excessive and empty at the same time, right? Spider-Man 2 is a beautiful game with a big city and a fully voice-acted plot, but yet it still feels like there's nothing fun to do? I have that trouble with a lot of newer games. The exploration and mystery just isn't there for me, and the moment-to-moment challenges often aren't engaging enough. And Peter is so positive in that game he reminds of Phineas from Phineas and Ferb. A wee bit sickening, innit?

Well, I've ended up writing more than I intended on this first post. Hopefully that's a good sign! But at this point, I'm just putting off sleeping tomorrow, and I don't want to be a worn-out worm for work. I greatly appreciate you reading this, and I hope you well in your endeavors!

-Tantalum Worm